How Do I Stop Reacting and Think Clearly Under Pressure? An Executive Educator and Coach Answers

When pressure hits, it's easy to react first and think later, and then regret it. Rafael Marlowe, an executive educator, coach, and developer of practical frameworks for human development, says this is a question he's asked all the time. Here's his answer.

Short answer: You don't stop reacting by trying harder to be calm. You learn to catch the moment just before the reaction takes over, a moment Rafael calls "the seat." Catch it a little earlier each time, and you'll start choosing your response instead of running on autopilot.

How do I stop reacting under pressure?

According to Rafael, the answer isn't to force yourself to be calm. What works is learning to catch the moment before the reaction takes over. That's the space where you're still aware enough to choose how to respond.

Why doesn't trying to stay calm work?

Rafael says that trying harder to be calm usually backfires. Forcing calm adds more pressure instead of giving you more control. Real calm comes from still being present when the decision happens.

What is "the seat"?

It's Rafael's name for the moment right before a reaction takes over. In the seat, you're still aware enough to choose your response instead of responding on autopilot.

Is the pressure the problem?

Not according to Rafael. Most people assume the pressure itself is the issue, but the real problem is losing your position before you even notice you've lost it. Pressure only takes over once you've left the seat.

How do I get better at catching the moment?

Practice noticing it, even a little earlier each time. Rafael says that once you start catching that moment, everything changes. You're not calmer because you're forcing it. You're calmer because you're actually still there, making the decision.

Transcript

"A question I get asked all the time is how to stop reacting and actually think clearly under pressure. Here's the truth: you don't stop reacting by trying harder to be calm. That usually just backfires. What works is learning to catch the moment before the reaction takes over. I call that moment the seat. It's the space where you're still aware enough to choose instead of just responding on autopilot. Most people think the problem is the pressure itself. It's not. The problem is losing your position before you even notice you've lost it. Once you catch that moment, even just a little earlier each time, everything changes. You're not calmer because you're forcing it. You're calmer because you're actually still there, making the decision. I'm Rafael Marlowe, helping people recognize that moment and get back to it. You can find me on ProPass in the App Store."

Watch Rafael answer the question (tap the video to play):